Never Take a Bolivian Shortcut

After two days of busing through Paraguay and Argentina we made it back to the Bolivian border.  My visa was going to expire soon and so our next move was to go to Santa Cruz to get a new one.  When discussing these plans with Peter's family they all insisted that the road from Tarija to Santa Cruz was terrible and that if we went south through Yucuiba it would be a better road and much faster.  Since five Bolivians were telling me this was the way to go, I figured we should go for it.  I should have remembered from living there that a Bolivian shortcut is always longer and over worse terrain.

The road took us through my old site, where I was happy to see that the plaza and the women's center were both completed.  Although the fountain, where I had always dreamed of creating some kind of mosaic, remained empty and the school garden no longer exists.  It turns out that it had rained pretty heavily in the area and the road is quite muddy.  We're basically sliding all over the place and David is driving like a Nascar pro, I've never seen anything like it.  It's kind of like when you loose control while driving in the snow, except your on a narrow road in between land slide prone mountains.  There are hardly any cars on this road and we can't understand how the other road could be worse.  One of the few cars that does pass us warns that we're going to have to cross a river and that it's quite deep.  It turns out that the road has been blocked since December by a huge landslide.  Any day now they'll clear the road but in the meantime the only way to get by is across the river.  We're not sure what to do because David is pretty convinced that the car won't make it back from whence we came because it's up hill and there were more than a few rough spots.  So we press on, but before we can worry about whether we'll make it across the river or not we get stuck in the mud on the river bank. 

Soon enough a guy with a machete and a rifle comes along, which is a rather welcome site because we've had no luck getting ourselves out.  He tries to help us until it gets dark and we give up hope.  He tells us that in the morning we can look for a guy with a four wheel drive truck who lives across the river who can help us out.  We decide to sleep in the car.  The next day we wade across the river, taking off our pants to do so because the water's up to my crotch.  We amazingly find people who live across the river, which could technically be Argentina.  A lovely woman named Eva gives us tea and bread which is more than welcome since we didn't have any dinner.  The truck is not there however, it's gone off to Tarija and won't be back for a few days.  After wading across the river a couple more times we come across a truck driver trying to get to Bermejo but can't since our truck is blocking the path.  He comes across the river and pulls us out and promptly gets stuck himself.  He's hired a few guys to help him fix the road so he can get across and he tells us that it's much worse on the way to Yacuiba.  So now we know we have to go back but can't until the truck gets out because we'll never get out on our own.  While they're fixing the road David comes across the owner of a fish trap on the river and he offers us some of his fish.  We actually have a few seasonings to flavor it and cook them over a fire we build on the riverbank.  Not a bad lunch for being stuck in the middle of nowhere.  We don't get the car up the hill and onto the road until  after dark so we camp out next to the car for the night.

The next morning we make the executive decision to leave on our own the way we came.  We have to fix the road up ourselves in some places, without any tools, but David's sick driving skills (two wheels up in the air at one point) get us through the toughest spots.  We come to a spot with a ton of rocks in the middle of the road and we heave them out of the way but there's one too big even for the two of us to move.  The path is wide enough for the car to get through but because it's so muddy the back half goes in the other direction and whacks the side of the rock on the back passanger door and makes a huge dent.  Poor Esmeralda is taking a beating but we finally make it back to Bermejo and a paved road until we get to the infamously terrible road to Santa Cruz.  Yes the road is incredibly windy, hugs the mountainside and is dusty but it's an actual commercial road where lots of other cars are traveling and sure you can't see when there's a car kicking up dust in front of you and there are sheer drops off the winding cliffsides but at least we didn't get stuck without food for two days!

We make it to Santa Cruz and I go to the immigration office but can't get a new visa.  They tell me I have to leave and go to a Bolivian consulate in the US.  Well obviously I'm not going to do that and besides it's such a lie because when you fly into La Paz you can get a visa, so I decide that paying the 20 boliviano/day fine will actually be cheaper than getting another $100 visa which they won't give me anyway.  With that out of the way we head to Semaipata, a cute, touristy place with lots of hippies, mysterious ruins and great valley views.  We enjoy the french bakery and sell ice cream for a few days.  Then we head up to Beni, which I was very excited for because I'd never been to the Bolivian Amazon region.  We spent a few days in Trinidad, the capital of the region, mostly watching the motorcycles go round and round all day long.  On the road from Trinidad to Rurrenabaque we saw all sorts of cool wildlife including a kind of pink river dolphin endemic to Bolivia, florescent orange birds, caimans, and rather large snakes. 

In Rurrenabaque we decide to do a three day tour in Madidi National Park with a community run organization.  There are monkies, macaws, exotic birds, herds of wild pigs and lush forrest all around us.  We go on a night hike but while we hear a lot of creatures we only manage to see bats and alligator eyes in the laguna.  We go fishing for our dinner and between the three Bolivians and David, I´m the only one who catches a fish.  I can´t even throw my own line but whatever.  It was only a little bit bigger than one of the fish we brought along as bait and so we had the two of them fried up for dinner.  The eco-lodges we stayed in were beautiful and I loved waking up to the sounds of monkies and parrots.  I could have easily stayed a week but with time and money constrictions we headed back to Rurre where we made a killing selling ice cream over the weekend.  There was a strike going on in La Paz so gasoline was arriving only a few times a week.  We heard on Friday that it was going to arrive so we went to sell ice cream to those who were waiting in line.  When we finished around 5 we put ourselves in the gas line because we were going to need to fill up if we ever wanted to leave Rurre. With all the cars, trucks, motos and people with huge gallon drums and other containers it was madness.  All the tour agencies need gas for their boats and we saw our guide Simon waiting in line as well.  We were in line until exactly 3 in the morning when it was our turn to fill up. 

With the blockade over we took a dusty road to La Paz where we stayed for a couple of days, eating our last salteñas and David´s first sushi.  The car had been through so much that we needed to get the truck bed fixed, badly.  The wooden boards were completely coming apart and the door no longer opened properly.  David figured it would be cheaper to get it fixed in Bolivia and we found a guy in El Alto that would do it for a little over $250, nearly all our sales money from Rurre.  We took off Esmeralda´s rear end and headed for Copacabana since the repairs were going to take til the end of the week.  We got our sad looking truck blessed at the Cathedral in Copacabana.  We paid the church $1.50 for the blessing and the cholitas outside the church $8 for all the decorations to put on the car for the ch´alla.  Soon after the blessing the car wouldn´t start.  But we didn´t need to worry about that, it was in the garage and we were headed with the puppies to Isla del Sol.  We stayed one night and hiked the entire island, visiting the ruins and enjoying the amazing view of the Cordillera Real.  I have to say Lake Titicaca is much more impressive on the Bolivian side.  The water is clear and gorgeous, the Andes are astonishing in their dominance and beauty.  It´s pretty clear why the Incas believed that gods resided in those mountains and why the island held such a religious significance for them. 

Back on the mainland we starting the car with a push...what kind of blessing did we get anyway?  I mean the priest was wearing a baseball cap, how legit could he be...or was it because we didn´t pay the old cholita for her magic herbal blessing?  We may never know.  David poured lemon juice and Coca-Cola on the battery and that seemed to help for some reason.  We headed back to El Alto to see if Esmeralda´s rear end was ready.  Of course in the four days he had the maestro didn´t do much of anything except buy the scrap metal to replace to bed.  He still had a ton of welding to do and we only had three days before we were supposed to be out of the country.  After arguing with the guy for two days we got him to mostly finish everything, put the ice cream machine and fulgon back on and reduce the price by $30 since he didn´t finish.  One thing I´ve certainly learned on this trip is how to bitch someone out in Spanish, I suppose it´s a useful skill.  At the border I almost got stamped through but ended up paying the $60 fine for not having a valid visa...oops.  Totally broke we thought we would be able to head straight for Puno but once again crossing the Peru/Bolivia border in Desaguadero proved to be a hassle.  On top of it all there was a strike going on in Ilave which meant transport between Desaguadero and Puno was more difficult.  Finally the people from our agency arrived and Super Sara who saved our skin before once again helped us out lending me $20 to get to Puno so I could get cash from an ATM to pay the $120 to import the car back into Peru.  Of course, it makes perfect sense to have to import a Peruvian vehicle into Peru.  It took three days this time and with nothing to do in Desaguadero we stuffed ourselves with ceviche, our only consolation.  We made it to Puno where I finally got the puppies fixed (there´s no room for another puppy in our car.)  Ice cream sales over the weekend were good.  Favorite customers: the three Japanese tourists (one with a massive fro) who when they saw the cone did the classic Japanese oooo woooow yea yea yea.  I was even able to ask them if they wanted ice cream in Japanese!

So technically we are on our way back to Ecuador but we detoured to Tacna for cheap electronics and will be heading to Arequipa and then Cuzco once the brake pads are fixed...any minute now.